


The Fall of Our Stars

by ThePiratePanda



Category: League of Legends
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2020-10-26 10:00:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20740376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePiratePanda/pseuds/ThePiratePanda
Summary: Infiltrate the Temple of the Five and recover the gems of the first Star Guardians. For Xayah, it was a simple mission until it ended in her death. Now desperate to save her, Rakan strikes a deal with Zoe for Xayah's resurrection. Zoe seems nice...she can't possibly be up to something, right?





	1. The Last Mission

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, hello there! Welcome!
> 
> I know this concept has been done quite a bit lately, but I wanted to add an alternate take on the events that led up to Xayah and Rakan's corruption. This originally started as a pointless fluff oneshot, so it will be relatively short. 
> 
> Enjoy!

_Xayah_

Ahri stood front and center to the First Star, her nine tails bunched up behind her and eyes locked on the floor. She was getting anxious, impatient even, not that I blamed her. How else should you feel when the galaxy is being threatened by creatures from an alternate dimension, and you're responsible for ensuring their defeat? Rakan had always told me I was more qualified to lead the Star Guardians. He wasn't wrong, but leading meant taking the blame when a planet got consumed by voidspawn. Pass.

Saki lay in my arms as I scratched her belly. To my right, Rakan fidgeted with one of his feathers, Neeko hugged Towa close, and Sarah stood at her full height with her arms crossed. Behind her, Boki imitated the First Star in his chirpy little spirit language, and he and Baki burst into laughter.

"The planet of Midori will soon fall to the void," said the First Star. "Before that happens, there are treasures of extraordinary value you must recover from the Temple of the Five."

"Ooh! Treasure!" Neeko squealed, jumping up and down.

Sarah gave the First Star a quizzical look. "Extraordinary value?"

She gazed at the floor solemnly. The silence that followed was so strong you could hear the swishing of Rakan's feather as it danced between his fingers. When she found her voice again, she explained, "They are the gems of the First Star Guardians. The Temple of the Five has preserved them for centuries. It's only a matter of time before the void devours it. I can't afford to lose such powerful relics."

Find and retrieve the gems in the mysterious Temple no one has been in for hundreds of years. I couldn't help smiling as a wave of excitement rushed through my entire body. If stabbing people with killer quills wasn't my specialty, infiltration was, going back to my days leading the rebellion. Ionians had a fascination for keeping Vastayan artifacts around their homes and sacred sites. These weren't just any artifacts, oh no, they contained magic that had been sealed away. In the dead of night, I would steal them, smash them to pieces, then leave the remains in plain sight. My fingers started to itch thinking about it. They wanted feathers between them, but they would have to wait a little longer.

"We'll recover them," Ahri assured her, finally lifting her gaze from the floor.

The First Star beamed. "I know. Now go my Stars. Time is of the essence."

Ahri, Rakan, Neeko, Sarah and I bowed our heads to her.

"Yes, ma'am," we chorused.

The First Star's domain was a secluded palace in the middle of space, her throne room our main meeting spot. The floors and walls were polished white, so perfect you could see your reflection in them, and red carpets lined the tile. Starlight adored the ceilings in crystal shapes. We turned and walked out the double doors, Sarah shutting them behind us. Saki flew from my arms to perch herself on my shoulder. My fingers still had the itch, so I scratched it by conjuring two feathers between them. I crossed my arms and gently moved my wrist up and down, letting the wind flow through them.

"So, uh," Rakan addressed Ahri, "What's the plan here, boss lady?"

"You guys hold back the void creatures. I'll get the gems," I said.

The others' heads snapped towards me so quickly I thought they broke their necks. Rakan was more concerned than anything, the girls had that "Are you crazy?" look on their faces.

"What?" I asked.

"This is a dangerous mission, Xayah," Ahri replied. "We don't know anything about the Temple or where those gems could be…"

I stiffened my wrist, feathers pointing at the sky. "I used to do this sort of thing all the time for the Vastaya. This is nothing, trust me."

She said nothing, simply staring at me with her disgustingly bright eyes. Ahri had swayed many a man with those eyes, but I wasn't going to budge.

"No offense, but I'm the best person out of all of us here to do this."

"She's right, Ahri," Sarah said. "Better to just get those gems and get the hell out as fast as possible. Xayah has the most experience in infiltration, she knows things we don't."

"And she's top of our class!" Neeko chirped. "Xayah has big brain! We can trust her!"

Got her.

Ahri sighed in defeat. She gazed at the floor, then at me. "Fine. But be safe, please."

"Neeko," I focused my attention on the chameleon, "If the voidspawn get in the way of me and the Temple, cover me."

"Always!"

A hand grasped mine, then my face was gently turned to someone else.

Rakan.

"If you need anything…"

I locked eyes with him, then realized why I tried to avoid doing that. I was a woman of unrelenting focus, always committed to finishing a task and sharp as the weapons I carried. When I looked into Rakan's eyes, though, I was pudding. This was probably what men experienced when Ahri worked her magic on them – an entirely different world. One where time has stopped, and nothing else matters or even exists.

"I'll be fine," I assured him.

"…You know how to call me." He gestured towards Saki, who could send telepathic signals to Riku. All of our familiars could, it was how Rakan operated as the team healer, but the signals were strongest between Saki and Riku. It was partially because they were both star owls, and mostly because my starlight was tied with Rakan. It had been since the day we were chosen as Guardians. 

I reached behind his head and pushed it down so our foreheads could meet. "Try not to worry about me. You're going to have enough to deal with with the voidspawn."

"You know I can't make that promise."

"Fake it, it'll make me feel better."

Sarah coughed. The girls were staring at us. Let them look, I was trying to have a moment with my man over here.

"Are we ready then?"

I gave Rakan one last glance, and we parted regrettably. "Yeah, let's go."


	2. The Crimson Raven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains depictions of blood and violence.

Centuries ago the planet of Midori was a thriving oasis of green. Its inhabitants were hybrids of humans and plants, living off lush jungles that blanketed the land. Trees extended so far and in such great numbers that it was the perfect place to hide something important – like a sacred temple containing the gems of long dead Star Guardians.

Quiet, secluded, romantic…it was the kind of place I would want to settle into a life with Rakan. He would be devastated about the lack of chocolate, but the ability to dance and love on each other all day would make it worth it.

Since the void portals started opening, the monsters slowly devoured Midori. The jungles were reduced to skeletons. The inhabitants were mere ghosts of the past. The Temple of the Five was covered in toxic goo and claw marks from the spires down to the foundation. From first glance it looked like a small building, no taller than what remained of the trees around it. My hunch was that it expanded into a maze deep below the earth. At the end of that maze was our ticket out of this hellhole.

Magical girl fashion tip: glitter and starlight are amazing for appearances. Avoiding the attention of abominations that eat everything in sight? Not so much. 

The voidspawn attacked, charging in groups and launching a barrage of magic. I was surrounded. My eyes created trajectories from their vitals to the land. I hurled my blades precisely at those spots and then snapped my fingers. The feathers soared back into my hands, ripping through the creatures as if they were paper. One had managed to avert it and vaulted towards me. Morphing into her demon form, Saki caught it with her beak and tossed it a football field's distance away.

I loved her so much.

Neeko conjured a storm of tangles from the ground. Boki and Baki unleashed a fury of bullets as Sarah's twin pistols. Ahri's fox fires burned around her while Kiko bounced around in her orb. As countless died more would advance; we were doing everything yet nothing at all. We could only hold them back for so long before they finally got to us.

At first Rakan had executed his battle dance perfectly. He got their attention, grouped them up and allowed the rest of us to strike. Over time, the team healer upstaged the battle dancer. He was expending himself with endless leaping, shielding, and healing. I could feel my a small portion of my starlight become weightless. He was fading. 

He flew to a safe spot on the ground and hunched over. One arm rested on his leg, the other clutched his gem. His breathing was unsteady. Riku whined loudly from the signals he was getting from other familiars. I flew down next to him.

"Are you okay?"

"Huh? Oh!" he moved his gem from side to side. "Just making sure my gem looks right. Yep! Perfect!"

"Rakan," I scolded him, "Don't lie to me. Our starlight's tied, remember? I can feel you burning out."

He sighed. "What else am I supposed to do? I can't just let them get hurt. Crap, I think I messed up my gem now. Does this look blue or turquoise to you?"

"We're not dying, there's no reason for you to," I emphasized the last part by poking him in the chest. He scratched the back of his head nervously.

"Xayah, the gems!" Ahri yelled. "Go!"

I cupped Rakan's face in my hands and kissed him. I teased his bottom lip with my tongue, deepening it as he reciprocated. I poured all my love, my concern, my fear, my anger into that kiss. In another life I would have stolen his breath until he didn't know which way was up. I didn't have time for that now, though. The faster I retrieved those gems, the sooner we could get home. And the sooner I could be in his arms again.

I separated from him, his eyes speaking "Be careful" without him needing to move his mouth. My attention turned to the Temple of the Five. Voidspawn were crowded around the entrance. It would take effort, but I knew how to deal with that.

"Neeko!"

She nodded and sprinted to the back of the temple. I conjured six feathers, three in each hand, then flung them to the monsters. They stampeded. I manifested three more feathers as I followed Neeko's path. I was greeted by my own face behind the temple, lavender eyes wide and glistening.

"Nice."

"Neeko wishes she could stay like this forever," the chameleon sighed.

I shoved the daggers into her hands, assuring she didn't touch the edges. "Make 'em count!"

I used claw marks in the building to leap onto the roof. The voidspawn followed Neeko. She chucked my feathers like balls, bonking several of them on their heads but killing none.

I would have to teach her how to play with those later.

They chased her away from the temple before she suddenly vanished. The clone. I looked back at my teammates. The real Neeko was rejoining them.

Okay, not what I had in mind, but it would do for now.

I crawled to the entrance. Once I reached it, I hopped down, opened the door as quickly as I could and slammed it once I was inside. Then I heard chirping. I cracked it open long enough for Saki to enter. She landed on my shoulder and shook out her feathers.

The temple was quiet compared to the scene outside. Two hundred years had brought natural decay, but there were no signs of void damage. Benches lined the sides, and a podium stood at the far middle end. Five banners of different colored stars hung from the ceiling - red and blue on the left, pink in the middle, and purple and green on the right. The purple one had been torn in half; the remains crumpled on the ground. On the floor in front of me was a large stained-glass art piece. A four-point star shined in a sea of red, blue, pink, purple, green, and yellow. I figured I should start with the podium, maybe it had a book or something with information.

My gem came to life as I stepped forward. Starlight swirled inside of it before flowing like a river down to the art. It flooded the star, transforming it from gold to mint. The floor opened to reveal a stairway leading deep below the earth.

I knew it.

"Stay close to me, Saki," I told her as we descended. She chirped affirmatively.

The stairs led to an open hallway inside an enormous cavern. The tile floor was marked with star patterns. At the end of it stood a gleaming two-floor temple. Intricate swirl designs were carved into every inch of the exterior. Pillars supported two walkways, one for each level, that extended far beyond the building itself. The entry was an arch encasing two double doors, sealed by a single four-point star. 

I advanced down the hall carefully, daggers in hand. My eyes scanned every possible surface looking for a challenge. Something was off. This was too easy.

Saki chirped a few times. I translated as her saying, "_No traps_."

"There's always traps, Saki. It's just a matter of finding them."

I pulled my gem from my uniform and held it up to the star on the door. Just like the stained-glass, it stirred a reaction. The star turned mint and released without trouble. When I caught a glimpse of what was inside, I had to stop to gather my breath.

Stone statues lined the room with a pedestal in the middle. Banners hung above their heads in the same color arrangement as upstairs. Attached to their chests were replicas of the gems they wore in life, the hues contrasting the dull stone.

The first Star Guardians.

On the far left was a woman with six wings protruding from her back, chains dancing around her. She was wearing a long dress, and her feet were bare. Her scowling face told me she was the aggressive one, fitting of her red gem. Next to her was another woman with six wings. She was fully covered in armor, face included, and held a sword pointed to the ceiling. She wore the blue gem of loyalty. They were related, clearly. Sisters? Cousins? Mother and daughter? I had to guess their starlight had been tied.

The center woman was wearing armor as well. The long skirt she had in the back made it look like a combination of the two previous outfits. Her legs were spread apart as she stabbed her sword into the ground. Her hair flowed in cascades on either side of her face. Her chest displayed the pink gem of leadership. On the far right stood the only man of the group. Apparently the First Star had a thing for men with long hair and exposed chests - not that I could blame her. Crystals levitated around him, and he gripped the biggest hammer I had ever seen. His gem was green, typically the color of the team healer.

The fifth statue, the one between the leader and the healer, had been destroyed. Telling what that Guardian looked like, what their personality had been, or even their gender was impossible. The only thing certain was that their color was purple. Maybe they were reserved and careful to share their thoughts. Maybe they were just old as hell. Maybe both.

The pedestal in the center was topped with a golden bubble. Inside the bubble were four small objects, each of a different color.

_There you are, you little bastards_.

"Saki, get my back."

She saluted me with her tiny wing. I grasped my feathers and inched closer to the pedestal. Once more my gem came to life, causing the bubble to glow before disappearing entirely. I reached down and took the gems in my hand.

My head exploded with pain as if a sword had impaled my skull. My body was thrown forward into the pedestal. I clutched my head and torso. I had trouble breathing. _It's okay. We're fine. We're going to get out of this._

The pain settled, and I regained my vision. I spun around. I wasn't in the temple anymore; I was in the First Star's throne room. Blood was splattered all over the walls, the First Star herself lying dead on her seat. Sarah was on the ground below her, and Ahri a few paces away. They had been stabbed by objects I couldn't identify, lying in pools of their own blood. Neeko had been shot and her body left against the wall.

My arms and uniform were covered in blood. My hand held a feather dripping from the edge.

Rakan was at my feet with his throat slit.

I killed him.

I killed all of them.

The feather dropped to the floor. My knees buckled beneath me. I couldn't breathe. I hugged Rakan, brushing the hair out of his eyes and kissing his forehead. My eyes stung as they were overpowered with tears. I never cried; I had always preferred to fix an issue rather than let it consume me. This time, I cried. What kind of dark magic had consumed me? And why couldn't I stop it before it came to this? I hated the others for not defeating me. I hated whatever psychotic entity made me capable of this...

...I hated myself for not being strong enough to fight back. 

Two loud pops invaded my ears. I slammed into the ground, and suddenly I was looking at the roof of the temple. Saki flew above me in demon form. Behind her were two bullet holes in the pedestal. She raced to my attackers, and I heard four separate screams.

I sat up, still fighting the storm inside my head. There in front of me were Neeko, Rakan, Ahri, and Sarah. Saki snarled as she viciously pulled on Ahri's hair. The others flailed around, trying to grab her. 

"Saki, what the hell are you doing!?"

"You little…!" Rakan yelled when he finally got hold of her. Then he threw her into the pedestal.

I reacted as fast as I could, with her flying into my chest instead. She chirped furiously.

"_Not real! Copies! No mercy!_"

I touched my gem and focused my starlight on these "copies." She was right. This Rakan wasn't my love; he possessed a different, hateful energy. The others radiated a similar feel. The real ones were probably outside still, fighting the voidspawn. 

My body rushed with excitement. If they weren't real, then I didn't need to hold back.

I so loved not holding back. 

I released Saki and she attacked again, this time grabbing the fake Rakan. I channeled magic in my palms to summon my daggers.

"Agh! Not the hair! Not the hair!"

I hurled three of them at his wing. The other three went in the floor behind Ahri, who immediately jumped to aid her ally. I snapped my fingers and they screamed in pain as they were pinned to the floor.

Sing, puppets. Sing.

Sarah shot her pistols at the ceiling, the bullets ricocheting off it and falling like rain. I jumped, ducking behind the statues, but not before taking one in my side. If having that hallucination felt like a sword in my head, this felt like a thousand. Friendly word of advice: never get hit with a star bullet. It hurts like a bitch.

I fell to the ground, holding my side. She lunged at me and I moved to stab her in the heart. She clutched it. Her appearance faded, revealing Neeko gripping the knife just barely above her head. She threw it away and landed on her feet, invoking a time bomb of magic around her. The bomb detonated before I could react. My limbs stiffened. I couldn't move.

The room was blanketed by a barrage of bullets. I regained my strength a fraction of a second before they reached me. I gathered my starlight, nearly bursting at the seams with power. I leaped into the air, flinging a storm of daggers Sarah's way.

"_Star feathers_!"

Snap. The feathers flew back to me, tearing through her and making her collapse. Neeko charged at me. I sprinted to the gunslinger, picked up one of her weapons and shot the chameleon. Two down.

A golden aura enveloped me, and my body was put at ease. The sting from the bullet was gone. Rakan ran his fingers up my arms and brushed his lips against my neck. It felt so soothing, like hundreds of pounds flying off my shoulders...

"Xayah, you're overworking yourself," the impostor whispered into my ear. He moved in to kiss me. "You need to relax."

Damn it, I knew this wasn't my Rakan but I missed him so much. I desired nothing more than to see him again, to feel his touch and tell him I loved him. Despite everything, I found myself going to kiss back. 

Saki slapped him, knocking me out of my trance. I lifted my arm and punched him in the face, then jumped to avoid Ahri's orb. He recoiled, screaming. Saki grabbed onto his collar and flung him around like a rag doll. Ahri dashed towards me, her fox fires surrounding her. I leaped again, this time onto one of the statues. For a moment I clung to that one spot, then threw myself off when she bolted again. She slammed into the statue and crashed to the floor. As she pushed herself up, her fires caught on the tile, and on the structure above her.

Damn. This was bad. Stone wasn't normally flammable, but these weren't just any fires. They were star fires - capable of turning anything to ash. This temple was going to burn. Executive decision time: forget the gems. I was taking my owl and getting the hell out of here. I'd worry about the First Star later.

I summoned my daggers and killed Ahri before she could rise. Three down. 

Rakan backhanded Saki, sending her across the room into the wall. She reverted to her small, innocent form.

"Saki!" I yelled, rushing to her side and cradling her in my arms. She chirped painfully. Oh, that bastard was going to get it now.

"You done good, kid. Get some rest," I said. I willed my gem to absorb her into it, then manifested feathers into both my hands. The fire had spread rapidly. It was starting to cover the floor and creep up the walls. I couldn't trap him. Even with the fire he was too fast, at least while he wasn't literally nailed down. I needed to do this the old fashioned way.

We lunged at each other, bouncing off the walls and dodging the flames. The pain from the bullet wound interfered with my speed, but I wasn't about to let it kill me. We went at it for a good couple minutes, and though we left a hundred tiny cuts on each other, none were good enough to be fatal.

Then I felt a razor sharp sting in my stomach. Protruding from my abdomen was one of his quills. My body was already weakening with the bullet and the amount of starlight I used, but now with this, I had reached my limit. I couldn't stay up any longer; I flew to the floor. With one last idea to finish the job, I lied down with a feather underneath me. 

As he leaned down next to me, I sliced him clean across the throat. All I could hear was my own laugh as he tried to speak.

"You're overworking yourself, Rakan. You need to relax."

He collapsed, and then I followed, eyes heavy and body unable to move. From where I was I had a decent view of the whole room. I examined my work as I began to drift off.

Ahri and Sarah had been stabbed, lying in pools of their own blood.

Neeko had been shot.

And Rakan had his throat slit.


	3. A Bright Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back!
> 
> Comments encourage me to keep writing as well as help me identify what I need to improve on. If you would please take a moment to drop one, it would be greatly appreciated! :-)
> 
> Enjoy this chapter.

_Rakan_

Riku made a noise halfway between a squawk and a whine. His head pounded like Lhotlan drums from all the help signals he was receiving. As loud as Kiko, Towa, Boki, and Baki were, Saki was quiet. I wished she'd say something, but that would mean Xayah was hurt. I didn't want that. I wanted anything and nothing all at once.

Two pools of starlight swirled together in an endless dance inside my gem. I fixated on them, the world around me going black and nonexistent. If I could tell hers apart, I would know if she was okay. Xayah always was good at this, I never understood how she did it. It was like untangling thread tied in a knot.

I noticed both pools were dim, some sections gloomier than others. Those parts were mine; they had to be. After keeping up with the others and their screaming pets for so long, all I wanted to do was sleep and not wake up until next month.

Judging from the rest, Xayah was expending her starlight as much as I was – and she had the nerve to tell me not to overdo it – but she was alive. I breathed a sigh of relief. I knew she could do it.

Even still, I couldn't stop a certain, sickening feeling from eating away at me. A feeling that something wasn't right.

Xayah and I had stolen and killed for each other.

We had slept in the strangest places with only our wings and bodies for comfort.

We had danced to music only we could hear.

We had traveled endless miles and fought countless battles.

I knew her, and she knew me. Was I really going to pour all my trust into some weird energy I didn't understand?

No.

No, I couldn't.

The First Star may have tied our starlight, but our essence was one long before the sparkles and star owls. Right now, it was telling me I needed to get to her.

And I would.

A tentacle voidspawn's magic orb hit Ahri, tearing her uniform at the stomach and burning her skin. I stabbed the monster in the eye with a quill, then leaped to her before placing my palm over the injury. The emerald aura it radiated was smaller and more dim than usual. Her skin didn't heal to the extent it normally would either. I exhaled, feeling a portion of starlight dwindle. My eyes closed, and my surroundings faded into nothing…

Then Riku slapped me back into the real world, chirping irritably.

Crap. I was close to my limit.

"I need to find Xayah," I blurted out.

Ahri reached into her pocket and extracted the replicas of our gems she carried everywhere. Four of them – pink, yellow, red and blue – glowed faintly, but the light was there all the same. Mint had nearly burned out completely. Holes were beginning to form on its surface.

Sarah screamed, and Neeko was hyperventilating. Yet despite the chaos in front of me, I couldn't force myself to look up.

Ahri placed a hand on my shoulder. "Rakan, I'm sorry, but we have to go. We've done all we can. I'll take the blame from the First Star."

"What about Xayah?"

"She's gone."

"No, she's not. I can feel her."

Her grip tightened, nails indenting my skin. "If we keep going, we'll die. I'm not going to lose anyone else." She impaled me with her wide lavender eyes. A light pink aura blanketed her skin.

"We're leaving, Rakan. It's what the First Star wants us to do."

Oh, _hell_ no. I knew this move, she had used it a million times to get people to do what she wanted – even us, if we challenged her leadership. Over time I'd learned the charm didn't work if you were prepared for it. I tore my arm away and returned the stabbing with my own eyes. My blood boiled so hot I was practically breathing smoke.

"Tell the First Star I said to stick it," I spat. I advanced to the Temple of the Five, only a few paces away. "I'm not leaving without Xayah."

The pink aura dissipated. Tears lightly streamed down Ahri's cheeks. "She's faded! There's nothing left!"

"Yes, there is!" Barely, but there was, and she would be okay if I could get to her in time. "I don't need starlight to tell me that. I never did."

Ahri and Sarah stood speechless. As a Guardian, you had to put on an act sometimes of being emotionless. Stay strong even if your insides were ready to explode, for the sake of the humans. That's what they were doing now. Their faces were cold, but inside they were surging with anger, fear, sadness, and resentment. No resentment for leaving Xayah though, apparently. 

Wait…where was Neeko?

"Go on, go home. I'd rather hang out with the voidspawn then nerds who abandon their friends."

Riku hovered near Ahri, just watching this happen. His head snapped to look at me as I called his name. He listened – for once – and flew to my side.

"I need you to track Saki."

His next few chirps translated as, "_Other signals?_" What did I want him to do about the other four spirits calling him?

Easy answer.

"Block them out."

~~~~~

I coughed, smoke invading my lungs as the underground temple was consumed in sapphire flames. The entrance was blocked by fallen stone. I picked up the largest rock I could find and hurled it at a second-floor window. It connected, leaving nothing but jagged remains of stained glass in the frame.

Inside, the fires turned shimmering tile black as night. Four statues were melting beyond recognition – monstrous visions of otherwise good-looking people. At least I was pretty sure they were. Not better looking than me, though. Although the guy on the far right was close.

Five bodies lay sprawled on the floor, blood splashed all over the room. I winced when I realized four of them had taken the images of my teammates. I knew they weren't the real deal, but it didn't make them any less disturbing. The one that looked like me, with the red smile along his neck, made me draw back especially.

Did Xayah kill these guys _all by herself_?

She lay face up amidst the growing flames, hair ratted and blood spilling down her eye from a cut in her forehead. Tens of tiny slashes covered her body. Her hand rested on her stomach, a blue quill sticking out between her fingers. I wanted to find the person who did this to her and inflict every single wound of hers on them. Then I'd leave them in the temple to burn, recover the body later and hang it outside our house as a warning. The Valoran City police wouldn't like it, but I'd get them to come around. I had a way with people.

Her eyes were open. They shifted to look at me as I kneeled next to her.

"Rakan…"

I conjured a shield and ordered Riku to hold it. Then I delicately lifted Xayah's torso from the floor. For a second I wondered if she was going to fight me, thinking I was another copy, but didn't. She slumped against me as if her skeleton had been extracted, and I noticed another hole in her left side. A bullet from the Sarah clone, probably. I took hold of the quill, just loose enough to not irritate her. Starlight flowed from my gem to her injuries.

I pressed my cheek to the top of her head. "_Miella_, I'm so sorry…"

_Damn it!_ I knew I shouldn't have let her come in here by herself. This was my fault. I had to fix this, but the fire would keep me from healing her completely. I'd focus on closing her major wounds for now. I'd take care of the smaller cuts later at home, while she slept.

"It's not your fault," she replied between coughs, "I don't blame you for anything. I just wish you didn't have to see me like this."

"You're still the sexiest woman in the galaxy."

She chuckled, but then immediately flinched. "Don't make me laugh, it hurts."

"Sorry."

My starlight continued to channel, but the healing refused to take effect. The quill and the bullet were supposed to fade away into nothing, then the skin and organs would mend. But the quill was just as solid and stuck into her flesh as it was before I got here. My last resort was to push every bit of light I had left into her – in turn, killing myself. Xayah would then wield both of our starlight, and over time it would transition to be purely her own.

A weight dropped in my stomach. It sucked it had to come to this, but it was worth it. The First Star could find another healer. She couldn't find another Xayah.

I gripped the quill and started forcing more light to consume it. She turned her head away from my chest to observe my work.

She grabbed my wrist. "Rakan, don't. I know what you're doing…please, don't. You can't fix this."

"I can."

"You're the team healer, you're not supposed to-"

"Shut up."

She was going to slap me for that when she got her strength back, but I'd be dead by then, so whatever.

Xayah looked back at me, her eyes pleading and beginning to shimmer with tears. Anyone else would have been stunned to see her crying. To them, she was a strong, ambitious, cunning, and even deadly vision of a woman. She was too strong to cry, and she would fix her problems before she would sulk about them. They weren't wrong. Still, everyone needed release sometimes. I was the one she trusted to embrace her in the dead of night. I was the one who kissed away her sadness and gave her that release, so that she could return to normal in the morning. Tears were nothing new to me.

"I'm not worth all this trouble," Xayah said, tightening her grip. She coughed again. "Live your life. Find another girl. Be happy."

I shoved more starlight out. The glow around the quill expanded. I could feel myself going to sleep…

"I can't be happy without you, Xayah."

"_I won't let you do this_."

A wave of starlight crashed into me as I gave my last push. I fell back, overwhelmed by the force, and unwittingly let go of the quill.

"_I love you_," Xayah breathed out.

And then the starlight faded, and her body went limp.

"No! No, Xayah, don't do this to me!"

My hand gripped the quill. It was still lodged deep in her stomach. She had no pulse, and she wasn't breathing. My strong, ambitious, cunning, deadly vision of a woman, the star that brightened my whole life, was gone.

I buried my face into her hair. I couldn't hold her close enough. My eyes hurt with tears, and my heart was a tempest of emotions. I wanted to find those responsible and leave them to the voidspawn to be eaten alive. I hated them. I hated my so-called "team" for being heartless backstabbers. I hated the First Star most of all. If she hadn't sent us on this suicide mission, Xayah would still be alive. She knew exactly what she was getting us into. _Benevolent ruler of the galaxy my ass._

Xayah would never see peace brought to the universe. That Star Guardian oath was nothing but lies and a waste of time.

She would never realize her dream of freeing the Vastaya. Her years of work would be forgotten, just like many others who had tried and failed the same goal.

I would never get to hear her finally say yes...

Riku chirped sympathetically, and I could feel him coming closer while trying to maintain the shield. It was the first time in the two years since I rescued him that he showed me kindness. I pulled my gem from my uniform, willing Riku into it. Now there was nothing separating me from the fire in the temple. It didn't matter. I couldn't forgive Ahri and continue being a Guardian. If I went back to the Lhotlan village, I wouldn't be up to dancing or throwing parties for a long time. Maybe ever. I didn't just lose the love of my life. I lost my purpose.

"You know, I don't want to tell you how to live your life, but you should probably get out of here."

_What the hell?_

I pulled Xayah closer, my wing wrapping protectively around her body. Floating behind me, amidst the smoke-filled air, was a young girl. A monster of long hair cascaded behind her, and she was clad in what was hands down the weirdest Star Guardian uniform I had ever seen. Shorts, a skirt, random bows, a purple legging, a white one...like random pieces of clothing thrown together into one mismatched package.

I'd question her outfit more if I wasn't more concerned how she got in here and what her intent was.

"Hi!" she exclaimed, smiling and waving. Levitating in the middle of a burning building while talking to half-bird man holding a dead body was normal for her, I guess.

Smoke stung my lungs. Now I was coughing. "Who are...?"

"I'm Zoe! I'm a Star Guardian too, at least I used to be. The First Star betrayed me, just like she betrayed you."

I tried to respond, but all that came out was stuttering. How did she know about that? Had she seen everything? More importantly, had she watched as the copies of my teammates slowly killed Xayah?

Zoe lowered herself to a small patch of melted tile. "You don't have to be afraid of me. Actually, I can help!"

A portal materialized to her right, and she buried herself in it down to her waist. A confused noise escaped my lips as she popped up on my left. Shoving my wing aside, she placed two fingers on the quill in Xayah's stomach. It dissolved into the air, triggering me to touch the skin where her uniform had been torn. Nothing. No quill and no wound. Just a small amount of blood.

My wing fell back into place as Zoe disappeared, pulling herself out of the portal behind me. It shrunk until it vanished.

"How did you do that?" I asked. Cough.

"I can do a lot of things," she smiled. Then she gestured towards Xayah, "I can even bring her back."

"What's in it for you?" Intelligence was never my thing, but I wasn't _that_ stupid.

"Well..." she started, eyes darting around the room, "I've been looking for some friends to help me show the First Star the error of her ways. She's never listened to me." Her face twisted into a scowl. "_Ooh, look at me, I'm Leona! I'm the First Star's favorite and I wield sun magic and I'm so PERFECT!_"

Okay, this girl had some screws loose. Still, putting up with a few quirks was a small price...

Zoe exhaled. "Anyway, it's not a lot, I promise. Just a little sabotage. In return, I give you all the magic you could possibly want, freedom to go wherever in the galaxy whenever, and your girl comes back from the dead."

"Alive and healthy, right?"

"She'll be stronger than she ever was under the First Star. And by the time I'm done, so will you."

I looked back at Xayah, caressing her cheek with my hand. I wondered if going against the First Star was really for the best. Zoe said had been betrayed, and now, seeing that the First Star would leave us to die, I had to believe her. The Star Guardians served a traitor who didn't deserve their loyalty. One day the galaxy would be at peace, and we would sing songs about her defeat. 

"You've got a deal."

Zoe squealed in excitement. "I love when people are reasonable! Come on, let's go!"

I lifted Xayah's legs, picking her up off the floor completely. Zoe conjured another portal and motioned towards it.

"After you."

~~~~~

The room we entered was checkered purple. Tables with vials and spells contained in small bubbles lined the walls. A cauldron stood as the centerpiece, a purple concoction bubbling within it. A star squid swam through the air and into Zoe's chest, snuggling her. She returned its affections. 

"Hi, Ran!" 

The creature spoke to her in whatever language star squids speak. 

"I missed you, too!" Zoe replied. "Meet our new friends! Uh...oh."

"Rakan," I said. "And Xayah."

"They're gonna help us with the First Star," she told Ran. He responded with questioning noises. "Well, I'm gonna resurrect her, silly!" 

Zoe turned to me. "You can just drop her anywhere, it doesn't matter."

I narrowed my eyes at her, then looked around for any flat surface besides the floor. All that was here was the tables the vials were on...

"Uh..." I started, "Could you spare one of those tables, maybe?"

"Oh, sure," Zoe said as she approached the cauldron. "Ran, can you move the vials, please?" 

He obeyed, and I set Xayah down gently. I brushed the hair from her face and gave her a small kiss on the forehead. It wouldn't be long now. The squid began to poke at her with his tentacles. I slapped them away. "Hey, keep those off of her!"

Angry star squid noises, then he swam back to Zoe. 

"Do you have everything you need?" I asked her.

"Eh..." her face scrunched in hesitation, "Mostly. There is one teeny tiny little thing I'm missing." She made a gesture with her thumb and index finger. 

"What?"

She clasped her hands together, trying to look as innocent as possible. "I need some of the First Star's light."

"Take it." I touched my gem. "Some of this is Xayah's anyway." 

Zoe arms danced above the cauldron. The liquid inside swirled and smoke streamed out of it. Two slimy tentacles grasped my wrists tightly.

"Hey!"

That disgusting little squid peeked out from behind me, a devilish sparkle in his right eye. A dark purple hand rose from the cauldron, slinked towards me and forced itself into my gem. It mixed with Xayah's and my starlight, a dark energy consuming me. I wanted to tell Zoe to stop. I couldn't. I shouldn't. I had to remind myself what this was for, that is if I could think straight long enough to do it.

The hand pulled out a river of mint and blue, draining me with every inch it moved back to Zoe. My eyes closed, and the world went black.


	4. The End of Starlight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! My original plan for this story was four chapters, but I wanted to get this posted after going so long without updating. So, we're splitting it into two separate ones. Next chapter will be short and fluffy to tie things up, and then we're done. Thanks for coming on this journey with me! Enjoy this chapter!

_Xayah_

I opened my eyes, drinking in the room before me as my mind slowly drifted into reality. My head was pressed against a soft pillow; my body sunk deep into a mattress covered with purple sheets. I rolled over and stretched my arm out, relieving the tension in my muscles, before dropping it back onto the bed. The space next to me was empty. It wasn't like Rakan to wake up before-

Wait a minute.

I threw the covers off, my eyes darting over every inch of my body. The turquoise plume had disappeared, as did the bullet hole. The pain of a thousand knives had been lifted. The slashes on my skin had vanished, and not a spot of blood was left.

Could it all have been just a dream? No. There was absolutely no way.

I _felt_ that quill impale my stomach, stealing away the last of my strength.

I _felt_ the smoke invade my lungs as the fire consumed the temple.

I _felt_ the life bleed from me as I forced Rakan's starlight – and my own – into him.

I died. There wasn't a question in my mind about it. Even in a universe as wild as ours, there was no logical explanation why I was awake. Necromancers were the closest thing to you'd find to resurrection, but even then, you were a husk of who you were in life. You looked like a dead person, you moved like a dead person, and yes, you smelled like a dead person. As far as I could tell, everything was normal…better even. Other than the soreness from waking up, I felt amazing. My starlight mingled with a strange energy, but it wasn't merely a pool anymore – it was an ocean. My cloak felt heavier, but my daggers were stronger and sharper, like feather-shaped swords.

I scanned the room. Purple lined the walls and floors, with the occasional pop of black, blue, and pink. It was a regular bedroom with regular furniture – a dresser, two nightstands, a closet, and a full-length mirror – but I didn't recognize it. And that was why I needed to be ready to kill. At least it would give me a chance to try out my shiny new death quills, but honestly, I didn't feel like fighting after what I'd been through. I'd rather be in bed with a glass of wine.

I creeped over to the mirror. Just as I thought, every wound had closed and healed; the blood wiped clean. My hair looked freshly washed and combed, contrasting the ratted, blood-soaked mess I had in the temple. Shades of purple and magenta substituted neon greens and pinks in my uniform, cloak, and hair. Magenta bordered my gem. In two years, even with my starlight tied, it had always been purely mint. I had to guess the energy mixing with my starlight was the cause of it.

So what _was_ this energy? It felt like my starlight was being violated, but any negativity was crushed by the vigor and power that rushed through my veins. Whatever it was, it made a girl feel like she could rule the galaxy. Maybe I'd share it with my team once I reunited with them. Or not, become the greatest Star Guardian with Rakan at my side, and annoy the crap out of Ahri. Both enticing options.

I conjured three feathers in each hand and held them steady between my digits. My thumb and index finger circled around the doorknob, pulling it open slowly. The hallway was blanketed in purple from ceiling to floor. Checkered banners decorated the walls, as well as tiny portals passing stars and space junk. Energy particles hung scattered in the air. I snuck towards the end of the hall, my goal being the open space around the corner. My senses heightened. If an enemy were to take a step, I would hear it. If they rounded the corner, my eyes would spot the tip of their shadow. Whoever – or whatever – they were, my feathers would be their cause of death before they even had a chance to scream.

"Hey, whatcha doin'?"

A bolt of surprise shot through me. I spun around, my arms unwittingly moving into a defensive stance as my daggers stiffened between my fingers. The voice belonged to a young girl wearing a purple Star Guardian uniform. She sat on a bubble floating in midair, hands holding her interested face. A star squid levitated next to her, tentacles moving up and down as if it were swimming.

"I didn't expect you to be up this early," she said. "You're not easy to keep down, are you?"

"Where did you come from!?"

"Well, you see," she tapped the air with her index fingers, creating two tiny stars, "When a mommy star and a daddy star love each other very much…" She paused. Then she burst out laughing, the stars disappearing instantly. "Nah, I'm just kidding! I have portals all over, makes moving around easier. I'm Zoe, I resurrected you. This is my castle…and your new home!"

I lowered my arms. Her intent wasn't to attack me, otherwise she'd have taken her opportunity while my back was turned. I didn't feel any change in my starlight either; nothing to suggest she was twisting my mind into her control. I'd lower my guard a little…for now. "Thanks for the favor, kid, but I already have a home."

"You do?" she questioned. "Your team doesn't seem to think so. Although, I'll give you credit, you have good taste in boys."

My body instinctively went into attack mode, eyes burning like the sun. If she had hurt Rakan…well, let's just say this castle was going to get a new paint job.

"Where is he?" I demanded.

Suddenly, every feather I was holding slipped from my grasp. They hovered in the air, turning to point directly at me.

"I wouldn't if I were you," Zoe threatened. "I still have to teach you how to play with dark matter. That little trick of yours is useless right now."

"Dark matter?" I repeated. There was silence as thoughts ricocheted off my brain like ping pong balls. Dark matter infecting my starlight, my greatest skill being reduced to nothing…how could I feel so powerful yet be so weak? What did she mean about me not having a home with my team? What happened on Midori? And where was Rakan?

Zoe smiled, willing the daggers back into my hands. "It won't hurt you. It's just gonna corrupt your starlight until it's your main magic source. Lots more powerful than anything the First Star can give you. Nothing to worry about! Right, Ran?"

An affirmative noise came from the star squid. Zoe continued, "Your boy toy is up two floors, second door on your left. He's gonna be out for a while, so we should get to know each other."

"What do you mean 'he's gonna be out for a while'?"

"Oh right, that!" she giggled. "Bringing someone back from the dead ain't cheap. He gave me some of his starlight…"

_The idiot did what?_

"…Buuuut I think I accidentally took too much. Sorry!"

An image flashed in my mind of Rakan holding me in the temple, making his last attempt to save my life. He just won't keep the damn starlight for himself, will he?

"How long until he wakes up?"

"About two to three days, I think."

You've gotta be kidding me. "I want to see him."

The bubble popped underneath Zoe, but she remained levitating in a standing position. A portal materialized on the wall to her right. "Go ahead. Then meet me downstairs when you're done. I'll explain everything."

She flew into the portal, Ran in tow, and was gone in an instant.

~~~~~

It hadn't been a long walk up those two floors – just a couple of staircases – but even that was enough to make me wonder what that gorgeous idiot had gotten us into.

Zoe was unhinged. Her home décor confirmed it. Along with the dark matter and space crap scattered everywhere, checkered patterns popped out of the walls, portals led to nowhere and doors and stairs were built upside down. Other than that, I honestly didn't know what to make of her. I was pissed that she screwed with my magic, leaving the talent I'd taken years to perfect useless. On the other hand, I still had full control over my thoughts, words, and actions. She hadn't turned me into a mindless puppet. Actually, she had made me stronger. So…I guess she was all right?

I gripped the handle of the door Zoe had described, pushing it downward as I revealed the room behind it. It was a bedroom like mine, with normal furniture and none of the junk that polluted the halls. The bed was noticeably bigger. Rakan lie on top of the sheets, his head turned away from me. My eyes caught the delicate rising and falling of his chest, soothing the butterflies in my stomach a little.

I walked to the other side of the bed. With each step I carefully examined his body for scratches, wounds, any sort of injury, but there were none. His skin was paler than usual, though perfect as it had always been. The whites, blues, and mints of his Star Guardian form had swapped to a palette of dark greens, purples and blacks. His cloak shined as dark as space itself. He looked so peaceful, like a work of art before my eyes. A big, dumb, beautiful work of art.

"Rakan?" I said, brushing a few strands of turquoise hair behind his ear. He remained drowned in his abyss of sleep, not responding or even stirring at my touch. I hadn't expected that to work. Still, a girl could hope.

Images of the temple flashed back into my mind. Lying on the floor, watching his glittering feathers emerge from the smoke. The healing magic streaming through my tired body as I slumped against him. How he'd taken hold of the quill and literally forced his own life into me…

I swear, I would never understand him. He was self-absorbed, reckless, and had the attention span of a star fly, but he would move every star in the galaxy if I asked him to. Sometimes I wondered what I did to deserve him.

I pushed those thoughts from my mind, realizing they were only fanning the flames of my desire for him to wake up. So much was uncertain right now, between Zoe, my team, and my future, but there was one thing that wasn't:

This was going to be longest three days of my life.

I kissed Rakan on the lips, secretly hoping it would break his curse like in one of those old fairytales. My hand caressed his face. I relished his warm, soft skin as I whispered in his ear, "We'll be together soon, _mieli_."

Then I left the room, having no other reason to hover over him. I had guaranteed Rakan's safety, now it was time to get answers.

~~~~~

I opened my eyes, absorbing the vision of a night sky and a dirt ground. I was kneeled, rocks stabbing my legs and palms. A voidspawn dashed, turning my forearm translucent as it ran straight through my hand. A scream rang out; one I knew all too well.

Ahri crashed to the ground. She pressed her skin through a hole in her uniform. Rakan stabbed a voidspawn with one of his quills, triggering his healing aura, then rushed to replace her hand with his. I've seen that aura shine brighter than some stars, but this time, it was barely a glow. His head fell over slowly, an unseen force drawing the breath from him.

Riku slapped him back into the world. He recoiled from the hit before blurting out, "I need to find Xayah."

A voidspawn spit a projectile of god-knows-what at Sarah. She screamed as she unloaded her pistols at it. Another one slashed Neeko in the back, causing her to hyperventilate. She clutched the ground as if it would gobble her up and shield her from this nightmare. Then, she vanished. When she reappeared, a lifeless body fell to the ground. My eyes caught another Neeko sprinting away from the fight. I couldn't move, but I desperately wanted to grab her by the tail and scream at her to get back here. _That selfish, weak little coward!_

Ahri pulled four small objects from her pocket – objects I could only assume were the replicas of our gems. She placed a hand on Rakan's shoulder. "Rakan, I'm sorry, but we have to go. We've done all we can. I'll take the blame from the First Star."

_What?_

No.

She wouldn't just abandon me in the temple, would she? She was planning on going in there and looking for me, right?

But then…Rakan…

"What about Xayah?" he asked.

"She's gone."

"No, she's not. I can feel her."

"If we keep going, we'll die. I'm not going to lose anyone else," she fought back. A pink aura creeped up her skin and illuminated her eyes. If looks could kill, Rakan may have taken a fatal blow right then. "We're leaving, Rakan. It's what the First Star wants us to do."

He yanked his arm away, glaring at her like a snake ready to bite. "Tell the First Star I said to stick it," he seethed, venom practically seeping from his lips. "I'm not leaving without Xayah."

Ahri jumped, pink aura dissolving into the air. Her voice shook as she cried, "She's faded! There's nothing left!"

"Yes, there is! I don't need starlight to tell me that. I never did," Rakan replied, approaching the temple with each word. "Go on, go home. I'd rather hang out with the voidspawn then nerds who abandon their friends. Riku!"

The star owl obeyed. His master wasn't to be messed with right now, and he knew it. Smart little guy.

"I need you to track Saki," Rakan ordered. Riku chirped about other signals. "Block them out."

If him arguing with Ahri was a tug on the tie of our team's bond, disappearing into the temple was the pull that unraveled it completely.

I expected Ahri and Sarah to follow him eventually. I expected them to realize how important it was for Guardians to stick together, friendship conquers all, yada, yada, yada. It was in our contract for crying out loud! But that moment never came. They spotted Neeko and sobbed over her corpse, then Ahri willed the three of them to return home.

My magic – both starlight and dark matter – rose within me. They had betrayed me and my trust. They had thrown away everything they stood for. They had taken advantage of Rakan with their recklessness. Idiots, backstabbers, cowards. I didn't need lies. I didn't need friendship. I didn't need them.

All I needed was Rakan.

~~~~~

The bubble under my feet transformed into tiny butterflies, and they fluttered away. I sat on a couch in the castle's main room. Zoe was in a chair directly across from me. She picked up a teacup from a table next to her and passed it to me.

"I'm sorry," she said, genuinely sympathetic.

"I'm hurt," I stated simply. I took a sip of tea. "I'm hurt, I'm angry, and I want to stab something."

"I get it. The First Star betrayed me, too. I know what it's like."

"So you _are_ a Guardian. Or, were, I guess."

"A long time ago. I used to pick up magic and spells from the planets we visited. There was always a new way to help my team, and our enemies never knew what to expect!" her eyes shined like Valoran City lights. Her gazed then shifted to the floor. "The First Star never liked it, though. Neither did Leona, our leader. They said it was unpredictable, destructive, and hard to control. One day Leona just…went crazy and ordered our team to kill me. I fought back, of course, and won. After that the First Star sent me into exile and did all in her power to erase me from history."

I looked up as a realization came to my mind. "So, the missing statue in the Temple of the Five…"

"Yep, that was me," she confirmed, and waved. "Hi!"

"I'm sorry."

"I don't mind! I'm better off, and you will be, too. We both deserve better, and I'm gonna make sure we get it!"

"So what happens now?" I asked, my facing twisting from somber to serious. "I don't think you resurrected me just to be nice. No offense."

She shrugged. "None taken! You're right, actually, there is something I'm hoping to get from this."

"Well? I'm not exactly hard of hearing." I emphasized my point by wiggling my ears.

Zoe flew from her seat, doing backflips in the air. "We get rid of the First Star and take over this galaxy together! With Rakan, of course. She'll never betray anyone again!"

"And what of the Star Guardians?"

"Oh, that's easy! We kill them!"

If I had been drinking tea, I would have spit it out. "Wait, what?" I wanted revenge on my team, yeah, but I didn't want to _kill_ them.

"I know! I know! But hear me out!" Zoe floated down to meet my gaze again. "They left you to die. Who knows if they're going to do it to anyone else, and if the First Star will let it happen to anyone else?"

Damn it. I couldn't argue with that point. With Neeko, Rakan, and I gone, they were surely going to be looking for replacements. And as long as they were running around, there was no guarantee the new blood wouldn't have their blood spilled.

"They hurt you. You deserve to hurt them right back."

I felt the magic rise within me again, a power that soothed all my worries. There was promise. There was purpose. There was exhilaration. The future was bright…and it looked a lot like dark matter.

Sometimes to do good, you had to be the bad guy. And I was going to be downright evil.

"When do we start?"


	5. Our New Life

_Knock knock knock._

Zoe opened the door to Rakan’s room where I had been sitting the last few hours. I had been here for days, only leaving to train for a couple hours at a time. I had been sleeping in the chair next to his bed, leaving my room completely abandoned. Not the most comfortable, but compared to Ionian nights when we slept in the cold, this wasn’t so bad. 

“Anything yet?” Zoe asked. As she came into view, I noticed her right hand held a slice of chocolate mooncake on a plate. 

I shook my head. “No, not yet.”

“I’m pretty sure it was the combo of the resurrection and blowing all his magic on Midori that knocked him out like this. You two are really strong. People usually don’t wake up from starlight exhaustion for at least a week.” She held up the plate. “I brought food!” 

I accepted it, not able to help smirking at her compliment. “That’s the old Vastayan blood.”

“The old Vastayan blood can kill an entire team of Star Guardians. You’re way good for the First Star.”

“They weren’t Star Guardians, they were copies.”

“Copies with the same powers and strength,” she added. Her lips curled into a sly smile, “Don’t be humble.” 

I popped a piece of cake in my mouth, avoiding eye contact. As much as I appreciated the ego stroke, the memory of my friends trying to kill me – even if they were imitations – weighed a lot heavier now.

“The First Star is looking for replacements, so we still have time,” Zoe said. “Let me know when your boy toy wakes up. I’ll teach him about dark matter and we can start working some magic!” 

I saluted her with my index and middle fingers, the other three gripping the fork. 

“Good night! Try not to stay up too long!” She flew out of the room, the door slamming by itself behind her.

~~~

“Xayah.”

I’d fallen asleep without realizing, only half-aware of my surroundings as I awakened. Softness surrounded my face. I didn’t know why or how it was there, all I knew was that I didn’t want it to go away. I lifted my hand to hold it. 

“Xayah, wake up, miella.” 

I looked up, and my mind snapped into reality like a slingshot being released. Standing over me was Rakan, his eyes bathing me in a loving gaze I’d gone too long without.

His free hand caressed the side of my face. “How are you feeling?”

“What do you mean ‘how am I feeling?’ I’m not the one that just came out of comatose!” The words spilled out of my mouth like vomit. My body was a swirling hurricane of emotions as I debated my next action. Should I yell at him? Kiss him? Strangle him? Pin him to the bed and test if the walls were soundproof?

All of the above? 

“You’re the one that died!”

“You’ve been out for three days!”

“I didn’t get stabbed by a less attractive version of me.” 

“He looked exactly like you!” 

“Nah, his hair was gross and his feathers were all out of place. I’m offended by such a cheap imitation.”

Are you kidding me right now? After everything…flying into the burning temple, sacrificing his life and his light for me, all he can think about is the clone’s hair!? 

“Rakan, I…” 

The words caught in my throat. A part of me still wanted to chew him out, but my body refused to let me. Rakan just stood there waiting. No judgement, no haste, just patience laced with concern. I guess I couldn’t be hard on him. I had sacrificed myself for him, too. I didn’t regret it, either. Even now. 

By starlight, the two of us were ridiculous. 

I gave up on trying to say anything. It had been too long since we had a moment together, without imminent danger or others watching. It was time to take advantage of it. 

I pushed on his chest just enough to give me space to move, then shoved him onto the bed. 

“What–” Rakan tried to speak, cut off by the clapping of my hand over his mouth. 

I climbed on top of him, trailing kisses up his chest and slowly around his neck. I felt one arm wrap around my waist, the other on the back of my head. Finally I reached his lips, filling the kiss with twice the emotion as on Midori. Harder. Deeper. As if I were trying to fuse our very beings.

I cursed the day we were made to breathe, because eventually I had to pull away. Rakan’s hand rested on my cheek. He was giving me a dumb smile that I would have punched him for years ago, but now, it melted me to my core. Bastard.

Then his face grew serious. 

“Where’s Zoe? What happens now?”

Crap. I knew this conversation was coming eventually, but I was hoping it wouldn’t be tonight.

My next words would be cruel, but true. I contemplated them for a moment, just to see if the better part of me would knock some sense into me. But it didn’t. I had gone numb to any feeling of doubt. Of pain. Of loyalty to those who betrayed me.

Good. 

“Our team left us to die. The First Star is going to find replacements and do the same to them. We can’t let them live.”

Rakan pushed himself up. “What!? Xayah, that’s crazy! We can’t do that!”

“We can and we will,” I replied, honestly annoyed he was fighting me on it. “Don’t tell me you think what they did was okay?”

“Of course not! I…” he rubbed the back of his head. “I just want them to learn their lesson. And they’re not going to learn anything if they’re dead, right?”

Okay, he had a point there. On the other hand, he forgot who we were dealing with. I brought my hand up. “Ahri only cares about herself, Sarah is stubborn as hell, and don’t even talk to me about Neeko.” My fingers touched my thumb as I spoke each name. “My love, they’re not going to learn anything. Not unless they feel the pain they caused us. I know it seems wrong now, but have I ever steered you wrong?”

Rakan stayed silent, his face speaking all the words I needed at that moment. He was thinking it over, probably torn between his loyalty to me and to the life he once knew. The life that was only a memory now.

I felt bad for him. Everything was happening so fast. We hadn’t spoken since Midori, and now I was asking him to kill the people we once trusted. 

He would see my way and come around. He always did. And he wouldn’t regret it. No matter how evil it sounded, it had to be done. 

The First Star would never betray anyone ever again. The Star Guardians would never sacrifice their own ever again. I felt a rush of starlight through my body. No, dark matter. This power…this was what being free from the First Star felt like. I already knew I could take down my Star Guardian team. Imagine the possibilities now, especially with Rakan at my side. 

“I trust you,” he finally said. “It’s gonna take time to get used to, but I trust you. I’ll support what you think is right.”

Now it was my hand resting on his cheek. I couldn’t fight the love that infused with my voice as I replied, “I know.”

Then I kissed him again.


End file.
